Coffee Shop Daze

So Here's To Another Better Year!

I've thought about this post for a couple weeks, and it's been hard to put it off, just because I've got so much I want to say. I know my posts are always a bit long-winded, but for those of you who actually read them-- thanks. It means a lot to me that someone cares about what I'm talking about. Anyways, moving onto the important stuff.

School starts tomorrow. Most kids would be groaning about it, and dreading the coming year, but things are a little bit different for me. I'm a town kid, so most of my friends disappear for these three months, and I miss them so much that I'm actually excited for school. Crazy, huh? I'd like to think that most other kids are like that too, but I think it's mostly me. Haha, oh well.

But not only is school starting, it's my senior year. Four years. And it's crazy, because I look back, and it feels like yesterday that Marlee was telling me that it'd go by so fast. And I remember to this day what David wrote on the senior picture he handed me at Marlee's grad party-- "Enjoy these four years, you won't know where they went when it's over." I thought at the time, four years is so long, by the time senior year comes, I'll be ready to be done. Haha. Now that I'm realizing it's my last year, I'm a little scared. The real world is out there, waiting for me.

And I'm probably not going to have any of my friends to face it with me, thanks to the nature of our school. The scariest thought, I think, is that I know I'm going to fall out of touch with people. Even with Facebook and MySpace... it's still going to happen. I blame the newsfeed-- why talk to someone when I can just see everything they're doing on Facebook? That damn newsfeed has turned keeping in touch into a spectator sport, and I know I've fallen victim to it. The point being that I'm best friends with a lot of these people, and I might not see them ever again after this year, and the thought of not even talking to them makes it so much worse.

But I'm determined to make the most out of this year. I'm not sure how I'm going to balance friend time with Trent time, and I'm barely gong to see my family with all the after school stuff I'm signed up for, plus I'll be gone most weekends for concert choir. Hell, I might have already gone to college for all they can tell. I never really feel a sense of homesickness for my family, just because they're always at home, even if I'm out. I know they're there if I need them. Leaving next year, they're gonna be three hours away. My closest friends to Calvin College will be Rishad, if he stays near there, and Johnna if she goes to GVSU. Trent will be in Saginaw for another year, and then an hour away at Western. Amanda will be at Ferris, and who knows how many people are gonna be in Minnesota for MLC. Thinking about it makes me feel a little lonely.

I'm not worried about making friends-- after getting out of my poisonous little shell that I was stuck in the first two years of high school, I make friends just fine, I'm a fucking social butterfly. But they aren't going to have memories with me. We'll have to make them. The inside jokes that are hilarious now are just going to seem weird to them. I'll have to tell them my life's story, and I'll have to explain everything about myself to them. It's a long process, believe me.

Maybe I shouldn't be focusing so much on next year, though. THIS is the year I meant to talk about when I started writing, forgive me for getting carried away. THIS year is my senior year of high school. I have the friends to make it great, the Saginaw music scene will hopefully pick up a bit thanks to SYS Fest, and even if there's nothing to do in this shithole town, we'll make it fun if it kills us. If Tara is still up for the slip n slide in the commons, hell, so am I! Haha. I have a job, so I'll be able to afford the fun at least (and TRY to save for college). I'm in Concert Choir. I'm the president of CSP, and from what I hear, I now own the yearbook and Red And White staffs, so... it'll be a good year. I have a ton to keep me occupied.

I can worry about next year when it comes. I'll close with this quote:

"This is the life we show, this is the life I lead. They can never take this from me-- so here's to another better year!" -- A Day To Remember

posted by Kayla @ 9:21 AM