more lyrics.
"Let It Rain"(v1) Push it all away
The memories of you
I could scream and shout
But you'll never listen
You'll never see what you did to me
(chorus)I'm crashing hard
Burning down
Let it rain
Wash everything away
Face up, palms open
Let the rain come down
And wash this all away
(v2)Let's try to forget
All the hell you put us through
But the stain remains
The scars you've made
Are all still there, without apology
(chorus)I'm crashing hard
Burning down
Let it rain
Wash everything away
Face up, palms open
Let the rain come down
And wash this all away
(bridge) You can cry for respect
And plead for my time
But this time around
I won't fall for your lies
I'm standing in the downpour
Waiting to wash you away
Because I'm crashing hard
Burning down
All because of you
(chorus)I'm crashing hard
Burning down
Let it rain
Wash everything away
Face up, palms open
Let the rain come down
And wash this all away
(outro) Let it rain
Let's forget
"Untitled" (i wrote this song for my friend Glenn-- he needed lyrics about a guy realizing a girl is a whore. haha)
(v1) She walked in through that door
Dressed to kill
And ready to destroy
With the voice of a siren
And lips like heaven
How could I resist?
(chorus) Now that everyone knows your game
How are you gonna play?
My emotions were your toys
But I'm onto you
You won't win my heart this time
(v2) She walked into my life
Dressed for sin
Said "Won't you let me in?"
She's got a million lies
And a baby voice
Oh, I was fooled
(chorus) Now that everyone knows your game
How are you gonna play?
My emotions were your toys
But I'm onto you
You won't win my heart this time
(bridge) Sweetheart, you're pathetic
You had your chance
Had your claws sbared in my mind
Tearing me apart
Not anymore
You only want what you can't have
So you'll always want me
(chorus) Now that everyone knows your game
How are you gonna play?
My emotions were your toys
But I'm onto you
You won't win my heart this time
(chorus) Now that everyone knows your game
How are you gonna play?
My emotions were your toys
But I'm onto you
You won't win my heart this time
You little whore
Old Lyrics, as promised, for Tara
“January Ninth”(v1)I’m sitting here alone now
Thinking back on how things were
And wondering how things are [like]
It matters
I’m betting you don’t care
If you even remember it
(ref)Going back won’t feel the same
After everything has changed
Do you remember that?
Every moment stamped across
In perfect detail
What about you?
Do you remember that?
(ref)Going back won’t feel the same
After everything has changed
Do you remember that?
Every moment stamped across
In perfect detail
What about you?
Do you remember that?
(bridge)Isn’t it funny how we move on
Without really moving on at all?
No closure, no words
No apologies, take it or leave it
Time to go now
Hide your eyes, I’ll buy the lies
It’ll haunt me in my dreams
(interlude)
(v2)Today is so strange
As I look back and see the ghosts
Of the past, just walking around
Like they’re real
I’m not sure how I feel
But today is strange
(short interlude)
(outro)And we set ourselves up for failure
Before we ever started
That didn’t stop me
It didn’t stop you
And now I’m here
While you’re there…
Oh everything has changed
(some lyrics taken from "Franklin" by Paramore
"Alive"“Alive”
(v1) It’s been so long since I let the sun touch me
Since I could really stop thinking about you
I never thought this part would come
And now I feel so much better
No more doubts to hold me back
(ref) I feel so very alive
I never, no I never hoped to feel like this again
It took me so long, and I’m sorry for that
But I’m ready to take life in stride again
I feel so very alive
(v2) It’s been so long since I was confident
Since I could really see the people around me
I didn’t dare picture myself with anyone else
But now the possibilities are overwhelming
(ref) I feel so very alive
I never, no I never hoped to feel like this again
It took me so long, and I’m sorry for that
But I’m ready to take life in stride again
I feel so very alive
(bridge) I knew it’d take a while to let you go
Yeah, I’ll admit, I wasn’t trying very hard
But I understand now, I’m fine now
(ref) I feel so very alive
I never, no I never hoped to feel like this again
It took me so long, and I’m sorry for that
But I’m ready to take life in stride again
I feel so very alive
(outro) I just had to learn to let you go
And I’ve learned that lesson
"Clarity"“Clarity”
(v1) Oh, if I could have one wish come true
Out of all the eleven-elevens I’ve wished upon
I’d ask for the clarity to know what I feel
(ref) And then I could speak with conviction
I wouldn’t feel my stomach clench
As if everything I’m doing is wrong
I’d be able to think clearly
Without imagining repercussions that might (might) happen
Or might not happen (who knows?)
I’d have the power to call your name
And not feel on ounce of regret
Oh clarity, sweet clarity
(v2) As we both struggle for words
Struggle to understand each other
We hope to understand ourselves
Even thought it seems impossible…
(Dancing in front of my eyes is the time)
Eleven-eleven (how ironic)
I hope, I wish, I pray
That I will be granted the clarity I so desperately need
(ref) And then I could speak with conviction
I wouldn’t feel my stomach clench
As if everything I’m doing is wrong
I’d be able to think clearly
Without imagining repercussions that might (might) happen
Or might not happen (who knows?)
I’d have the power to call your name
And not feel on ounce of regret
Oh clarity, sweet clarity
(bridge) Oh I’ve wished for happiness (is that too much?)
I’ve wished for him (I won’t lie)
But most of all (I’m begging)
I just want to see (see clearly)
With the clarity I don’t have
(more to come. stay tuned!)
have you been rendered breathless?
Well hello there. I've been lazy lately, only putting up lyrics. Last week was exam week, and I actually studied, unlike most of the school, so yeah. It was a busy hectic time, plus, there was all the choir rehearsals for the Commencement Concert, and graduation the next day... AHH! Haha. But now, it is SUMMERRRRRR!!! Yeah! that means freedom to go places and not worry about school or bedtimes, time with friends till the dark hours, all that good junk. Oh, and time for blog writing, reply writing, and hopefully, book writing. (Yeah the book hasn't been touched in a while. Oops.)
So this weekend was prettyyyy damn busy. Saturday, after graduation, I was at Trent's party all day, and helped them clean up, and then stayed at his house till about seven. After a quick stop home, I went over to my friend Tara's, and spent the night. We stayed up wayyyy too late showing music to each other, and then had to get up at 9 for church. And right after church the adventure began...
We drove to Adrian MI for out friend Jen's grad party, which was about two hours away, then another two hours to Warren MI for our friend Phil's. Then, we tried to get back to our town as quick as we could, and that's where the trouble began. We were trying to get back for Hilde's grad party... and so were were kind of going 80 in a 70 zone. lol. the first police car didn't see us. The second one had his little speed gun out, turned on his lights and pulled out.... TO PULL OVER THE CAR BEHIND US. Oh my GOD, me and Tara were like CRYING we were so relieved. Steph slept through the whole thing. Oh, and then we almost ran out of gas, had enough money to get one gallon, which got us home, where we used the gas card her mom had bought us at the gas station that there was none of where we were driving. Of course.
Well, we didn't make it back in time for Hilde's party, so we went with him and another guy Josh to see "Angels and Demons". Which was pretty good, except, at the end, they just bastardized the canon and started making shit up. Haha. Oh well. It was good. And watching movies with Hilde is always a blast. I'm glad I got to kow hihm this year (he's Trent's BFF haha)
Anyways. Sorry, this is a short post. Not much to write about yet. Haven't done anything. I'm hoping to hear from the love of my life soon today so I can make plans to do something with him. I'll prolly post some lyrics later. (for Tara haha)
<3kayla
Lucas Says
(v1) Lucas says he's waiting to get out of here
To escape everything he knows
To leave the ghost of her in the back of his mind
It's been a hundred days and he's still here
But the clock is running down
(chorus)Oh, please stay
I know it all seems dark
But running away never solved
Anyone or anything
I know you think you're too far gone
But I have faith in you
(v2) Lucas says that he's not worth her time
He's been killing himself inside out
To get the ghost of her out of his mind
It's been a thousand days and he won't talk
We're simply running out of time
(chorus)Oh, please stay
I know it all seems dark
But running away never solved
Anyone or anything
I know you think you're too far gone
But I have faith in you
(bridge) And he says it's a sin
Just to feel for her
Days without food and weeks without sleep
All in her name
Lucas won't say what he'll do
And I know he's wrong
His penance for her is killing me
(chorus)Oh, please stay
I know it all seems dark
But running away never solved
Anyone or anything
I know you think you're too far gone
But I have faith in you
(chorus)Oh, please stay
I know it all seems dark
But running away never solved
Anyone or anything
I know you think you're too far gone
But I have faith in you
(outro) Lucas won't you hear me out?
I say you're wrong
I can't change your mind
I know
But promise me you'll hear me out
"Tonight Is The Longest Night" & "Cycle"
TONIGHT IS THE LONGEST NIGHT
(v1) These secrets were all mine until tonight
But now they're yours too
And let me say
There's no one else I'd rather share them with
(chorus) And here I lay
Safe with you tonight
Hold my hand
Tell me it's all right
The fears that hold me captive
Are disappearing fast
Please just stay with me
Let's make this last
(v2) So I'm telling you all of it right now
Before I can bow out
Oh, the past is real
And I will face it here with you
(chorus) And here I lay
Safe with you tonight
Hold my hand
Tell me it's all right
The fears that hold me captive
Are disappearing fast
Please just stay with me
Let's make this last
(bridge) So here we go, I'll shout it out
Convince I'm okay, as long as you will stay
Because here I lay
Safe with you tonight
Hold my hand
Tell me it's all right
These secrets were all mine until tonight
But now they're yours as well
(chorus) And here I lay
Safe with you tonight
Hold my hand
Tell me it's all right
The fears that hold me captive
Are disappearing fast
Please just stay with me
Let's make this last
(outro) Let's make this last and last
It will face it here and now
With you
CYCLE
(v1) You want to hear about me
In simple words and simpler phrases
It's harder than you think
I know you're waiting
But I just can't say the words
(chorus) I tear myself down
I sew myself up
This cycle never ends
I could rip myself to shreds
And never feel better
In the end I just fade away
(v2) Now this vicious feeling in me
Consumes me, mind and soul
It's like I'm barely breathing
And this isn't real
It's like it's all a lie
(chorus) I tear myself down
I sew myself up
This cycle never ends
I could rip myself to shreds
And never feel better
In the end I just fade away
(bridge) Pick me up
Make me feel alive
Put the pieces back together
Even as I shatter
You are my only hope, my only hope
(chorus) I tear myself down
I sew myself up
This cycle never ends
I could rip myself to shreds
And never feel better
In the end I just fade away
(outro) And I want it to be true
This worth I'm told I have
Convince me I'm all right
You are my only, MY ONLY hope
Tell Me Where Our Time Went And If It Was Time Well Spent;
Why hello blogging world. It's been a good few days since I've updated this. Some good things have happened, and as I said in my last blog, I'm still counting on the sun to shine, even if I'm a little bit stressed out right now. I'm listening to a Paramore mix I made myself at the moment. I'll explain that in a moment or so. Right now, things are going wonderfully-- our drama club lock-in on Friday was a success, I finally got to see "Let The Right One In" and Thursday will mark that I have been with the love of my life for three months. I'll take these things in order for discussion.
First. Paramore mood. YES. Something has finally ousted the Something Corporate obsession of doom muffins. haha. Today, after morning chapel, my friend Glenn was kind enought to ask me to sing for his band when they cover the song "Pressure" for something or other. I agreed, and even thought I'm nervous as hell about it, I'm sure it'll be a fun time. Peter, Glenn, and Gersh, the guys in said band, are a good group of guys. Despite that Peter calls me a "devilish woman" since, for a while, my hair was dyed black, and Glenn keep using backward logic to tell people that I'm gay for having a boyfriend. Despite my being a girl. Haha. They're good guys-- just jokesters, you know? =] Anyways, I'm excited for the opportunity they've present me with. It'll be a fun time, I'm sure. As long as my voice doesn't give out, or I don't just suck in general. xD If there's ever a video recorded of it, I'll put it up here, provided it's not shittttt.
Moving on. COURT STREET PLAYERS LOCK IN!!! Every year, we the drama club gather in the chapel of my school, and have a fun filled night of theatre-related activites, food, music, movies, and blah blah from 9 at night till 7 in the morning. This year's lock-in was in part organized by yours truly, and I was in charge of music and a minion for food. After making a 51 song playlist which I lovingly titled "The Lock-in Playlist of Bitchin-ness", and hauling my ZuneHome to school to play it on, I was commisioned to scoop meat for out walking Frito tacos. There was a continuous supply of coffee all night, which kept me up till ALMOST five in the morning, until the put in "The Producers" and I fell asleep like a rock. >w> Such is life. When I woke up I was a little sick from all the coffee, tired on the hour and a half of sleep I got, ready to leave. And pee. Haha. I tried to crash at Trent's house, which had been approved the day before, but the door was locked, and I didn't realize I COULD in fact ring the doorbell at seven in the morning, cause he and his brother like me so much and his parents weren't home. EPIC FAIL. Oh well. Such is life. Again. xD
"Let The Right One In" is a Swedish movie. It was adapted from the novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist, and let me tell you, it was fantastic. Most people would hate listening to a foreign language while reading subtitles, but I find it charming. I hate dubs. More than anything. Which is why when watching anime, I always choose the subtitled option, just like this one. Not the point. The two young people playing Eli and Oskar were brilliant. Even though Oskar's bad haricut reminded me of my little brother's old bad haircut. And Eli's eyes were freaking huge! The only thing I didn't like was that the movie didn't deal with Eli's gender. SPOILER COMING!!!! [spoiler]In the beginning, she is presented as a girl, but later, she is revealed to be a boy, who was castrated by her vampire master hundreds of years ago. There are a few subtle hints, such as Eli asking "would you like me if I wasn't a boy?" and a suggestive scar when Eli is changing into a dress as one point.[/spoiler] Okay. Let's see. What else can I tell you.
Ah yes. My last topic. Trent and I will have been going out for three months on Thursday. It seemed like three hundred, to me. Like I've been with him forever. He is everything I need in life, the filler for every missing piece I never knew I had. He's my soulmate, plain and simple. I know I sound like every other teenage girl, but I don't care. I know what I feel and all that good stuff. Don't worry. Haha. He's a good person, the best I know. Singlehandedly the biggest fluke of my life, but a good one. I have Tara and Hilde to thank for getting us together. I'm eternally grateful. They really have no idea how much I owe them. <3
All righty. I'm off to try and do productive things. Maybe write some roelplaying replies, or my book. Or maybe I'm just gonna go look at the website for passive agressive notes again, and hit the stumble button. I could go for some food right now, that's for sure. Catch you later. I'm gonna try and write some lyrics tonight and put them up here.
<3Kayla
I Can Count On The Sun To Shine~
I made my friend Anna a pretty kickass mix CD, full of screamo and pop punk and indie and all sorts of goodness. I'm listening to it right now, and the lyrics to this All Time Low song hit me. It's called "Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)", and even though everyone is bitching about the immaturity of ATL and how they sound the same as every pop punk band since Fall Out Boy, it's not true. These guys have a lot of lyrical maturity that gets over looked by the public, because the public generally chooses to just hear what's played on MTV or FUSE and call it good. There's a reason bands make whole albums, people. Listen to the whole thing and you'll find things out.
Anyways. REPORT. The Foolish Grins came to a nice little coffee shop in my town. You probably haven't heard of them-- they're a Michigan band that I found randomly back when they were still just called "Chris and Kayla". They're kind of an acoustic indie deal, with male and female vocals. Both of them play guitar, and both of them have really beautiful voices. I'd been asking them to come to Saginaw for upwards of a year, and finally, FINALLY they came, which made me so happy! They started at seven, and played until about nine-thirty, with a nice mix of original songs and covers. And they only played a few songs twice to cover their time slot, so it all went just fine. I talked to Chris a little after the show, and we generall thanked each other for coming to the shop, and he promised they'd be coming back, which makes me happy. If Saginaw could have a music scene, everything about this town that sucks could maybeeee get pushed under the rug. Next time, I'll be buying a CD, for sure. I also stole their poster off the door as we left. xD But I figured the shop was just gonna take it down and throw it away anyways, so I might as well have it, right?
Last night, after the show, there was one more adventure to be had. We all went over to Wal-Mart, which is across the street from the coffee shop where TFG were playing. After wandering around for about a half hour, getting seperated from each other several times, hankering for food, and realizing that people who don't have cellphones should stay with those who do, we all piled back into Amanda's jeep. The night came to an end after dropping Trent off, (who was wearing his bitchin new sunglasses from Wal-Mart that I helped pick out) and getting dropped off myself.
When I got home, that's when I realized something was horribly wrong. I'd been at the show with Trent, the love of my life, Amanda, my best friend, and Marybeth, my sister in Christ (inside joke). However, while we'd been gone, Trent had gone from being a straight male dating me to a gay male trying to date AK, a guy at our school. xD Seth, the charming older brother of the love of my life, had hacked Trent's account, changed his status, broken up with me, tried to get AK to be in a relationship with Trent and generally just called mayhem.... It's refreshing to know that our 20-somethings have such prodcutive things to do. It didn't help that our other friend Paul was there, probably egging Seth on. xD Oh well. It's funny-- You've gotta have a sense of humor about these things, you know?
I've never mentioned this on the blog yet. But I have a terrible mother. She's honestly one of the worst people alive. I live with my dad and my stepmom, so I don't have to put up with her much, thank God, but still. It was "her" weekend this weekend. Every time I go to her house (or wait, my GRANDMA'S house, cause my mom's a 40 year old bum) all that happens is I sit around, no one talks to me, except for to yell at me, criticize my clothing, or accuse me of having sex with Trent. All of which are ridiculous, and highly insulting. I'm sick of it, and next year, when I'm done with school, my mom can expect to get a big middle finger, that's for sure. Anyways, she called like ten times last night, wondering where I was, accusing me of LYING when I said that my stepmom was home with me, calling my dad, telling him some bullshit, and once again, accusing me of having sex with Trent, but not in so many words. She's a subtle bitch, that's for sure. I know this all must sound like teen angst, and I'm sorry, but you're all going to have to hear more about my mom in the future, I'm sure, but this goes beyond that. There's a melting pot of past baggage that goes with this, that turns every move she makes into an underhanded, bitch move that juts shows how ignorant she is. She has warped past events in her own mind, turning them into some sick, twisted version of life that never happened.
Sorry for that to be such a bummer. I'm just going to remember the title of this blog. "I can always count on the sun to shine" -- things will be done with her soon. I have me friends. I have my dad and Jen, my stepmom. There's my siblings, and then, most importantly, there's my friends. And Trent. Who is the best person I know. I refuse to let one selfish, ignorant person to ruin things for me. -breathes- All right. This has been a good release for me, to rant about her a little bit. Sorry you have to read all of it, haha. But thank you for doing so. Whoever you are. =]
<3Kayla
What Heights Of Love, What Depths Of Peace, When Fears Are Stilled, When Strivings Cease.
Yes, those are Jesus lyrics. My favorite hymn of all time "In Christ Alone". It's horribly underrated and was just added into the WELS hymnal supplement this year. Why did I choose Jesus lyrics? Because today, I found out that I made the Concert Choir. I'm still so happy. After a few days of anxious anticipation, the big news came. After chapel, our vice president was giving the announcements, and uttered the fateful words: "For sophomores and juniors-- the choir results are up." Needless to say, the crowding of the hallway around the bulletin board was ridiculous. Being 5'2" I coudln't see anything. I started yelling that I hate all tall people, when my friend Alyssa was like "KAYLA YOU MADE IT!" My first thought was that she was kidding. And let me tell you, if she had been, there would have been bloodshed. That's the worst joke to tell someone at our school. Of course, I had to see for myself, so I just shoved all the stupid tall people; fuck em, they can look over my head. And right there, underneath the first alto line, was my name. In print. There was this surreal moment where things were quiet, despite the loudness, and then my eyes were tearing up. My friend Amanda was screaming "OH MY GOD NEXT YEAR IS GONNA BE AWESOME!" because she was in it this year, and again next year too. She then claimed me as a packing partner for mini-tour next spring break.
So today was good. Very good. After school, my friend Tara, who also made it, (after being in Chapel Choir with me) took me out, and we got smoothies together after eating dinner with her family. This is a huge deal to both of us, because we're very music oriented. And when I feel most alive in my faith, when I can FEEL the Holy Spirit in me, and really grasp what Jesus did... well, it's when I'm singing. I'm so grateful for this opportunity, and I can only hope that I don't disappoint. I'm going to try my hardest, and improve at everything.
On another note, the Something Corporate binge still goes full swing. I'm gonna try and get my laziness out of the way and download their whole collection. I've only got fifteen songs. Right now, I'm listening to "Konstantine" for the ten zillionth time. Haha. I'm very excited to learn how to play it on piano. Just need to get the amount of ink necessary to print out 19 pages worth of music. xD DAMN YOU ANDREW MCMAHON! SUCH LONG SONGS. But beautifulness.
SOMEONE GET ME SOME NEW MUSIC, GOD DAMN IT. haha. I'm so sorry to you people reading this-- I'll go on another binge soon. You're all FUCKED when the new Paramore album comes out. There'll probably be a whole blog dedicated to the awesomeness that that's going to bring.
Anyways, I've got to get going. I'm giong to Trent's soon. Anddddd... fuck. I just remembered I was supposed to call his brother Seth about the poetry slam we were going to. I blame you, BlogSpot. Oh well. We'll have to do something else. I hope everyone has a good day and a good weekend. Peace and loves, dudes.
<3Kayla
p.s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdC1rtk9M7I
HURRICANE LIVE. GO. WATCH IT. =]
